I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I intend to get homeless drunk
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
