don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
