can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize