She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
