she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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