The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
