Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize