New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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