Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
