new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
tell me about the eggs
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