So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sorry about my life...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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