school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
