so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize