so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
