i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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