that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
