I need help removing her.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
