Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
