someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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