My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize