i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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