K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
