He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
