I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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