he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ttyl tear gas
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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