my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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