Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
