So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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