covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
