She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
