This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's not a foreskin expert like you
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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