In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I skipped work to stalk him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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