she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
