What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
