How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
