Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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