I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
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once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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