I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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