i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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