So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
