ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
