we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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