When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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