You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
YAS. BRING CRAB.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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