I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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