So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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