i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
bring money and cleavage
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
