I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
