So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Screwed.edu
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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