nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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