Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize