I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
