then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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