There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
