just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss