Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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