Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
