i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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