I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
